Cloudpaw is White and Nerdy
by Natureboy3
Summary: ThunderClan would have had a normal day, but Cloudpaw is always there to keep things interesting. Slight CloudpawxBrightpaw. Songfic for White and Nerdy.


**A.N.: What can I say about this one? I think the song fits Cloudpaw (and myself) pretty well.** **Warriors belong to Erin Hunter. White and Nerdy belongs to Weird Al Yankovic. Review but no flames.**

Goldenflower parted her jaws in a yawn as she stepped out into the sunlight from the nursery. She watched as a group of apprentices ran by, enjoying the fresh air.

"I can catch more prey then you!" Brightpaw called.

"Not more then me!" Thornpaw countered.

Goldenflower watched as the young cats disappeared into the forest. After they had left, it clicked in her mind that she had not seen Cloudpaw. Padding over to the apprentice den, she poked her head inside.

Sure enough, there was aforementioned apprentice, crouched in the corner of the den with his back turned. The tom was talking to himself.

"Yes! Level ten! I may get out of this yet! Take that, and that, and that! Fear my necromancer!" Goldenflower put her paw on Cloudpaw's shoulder, spun him around, and snatched away the Twoleg object in his paws. Nintendo DS was written on the side.

"Cloudpaw, what are you doing inside on this beautiful day? And what are you doing with this twoleg thing?"

"Goldenflower, there's nothing to do outside! It's so boring around here! And I just got to level ten! Do you know how hard it is to get my necromancer to level ten?"

"I don't care what this thing is! You're not supposed to use Twoleg things! Go out, get some air, and hunt for the elders!"

Pushing Cloudpaw in front of her, she simply dumped the apprentice on the ground outside and stalked away with the DS in her mouth, intent on getting rid of the thing. Cloudpaw, meanwhile, rolled around in fake agony while flailing his limbs dramatically.

"The vitamin D! It's melting my brain! No!" Seeing his theatrics were having no effect, he padded into the forest to look for more fun.

_They see me mowin'  
My front lawn  
I know they're all thinking  
I'm so White N' nerdy_

Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
I wanna roll with-  
The gangsters  
But so far they all think  
I'm too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Really, really white n' nerdy

Padding through the ferns, he noticed the other apprentices taking a break from the hunting trip. They were lounging in a bed of ferns, talking casually. Stepping into the middle of the gathering, he wedged himself between Swiftpaw and Ashpaw. He then pulled out a comic book and began to read.

"Look! The dork has finally showed up!" Ashpaw remarked.

"How has your twoleg games been?" Swiftpaw sneered.

Cloudpaw ignored them and tried to concentrate on his comic book. Fernpaw snatched the comic from him and ripped it in half. Laughing and kicking dust on their peer, the apprentices moved on. Brightpaw remained silent, watching the humiliated tom before silently following her friends.

_First in my class here at M.I.T.  
Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND  
MC Escher that's my favorite MC  
Keep your 40  
I'll just have an Earl Grey tea  
My rims never spin to the contrary  
You'll find they're quite stationaryAll of my action figures are cherry  
Steven Hawkings in my library  
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out  
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces  
_

_Yo I know Pi to a thousand places  
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces  
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise  
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days  
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,  
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze  
There's no killer app I haven't run  
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1  
_

_Do vector calculus just for fun  
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun  
Happy days is my favourite theme song  
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong  
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on  
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon  
Here's the part I sing on  
_

"That was a good catch Sandstorm!" Fireheart complemented. The ginger she-cat purred and dropped the rabbit she had caught.

Burying the prey to collect later, they continued on past Snakerocks. The two cats jumped back, alarmed, when a white blur popped out of a crevasse in the rocks.

"Hi, Uncle Fireheart! Want to go head-to-head on Minesweeper?"

The apprentice held up a blue Game Boy in his paw, Minesweeper displayed on the screen. Fireheart could tell that Sandstorm was trying hard to stifle her laughter. His ears burned with shame as he thought how to get rid of his nephew.

"That's nice Cloudpaw, but I'm busy. Why don't you go show someone else?"

Cloudpaw looked slightly crestfallen, but brightened up.

"Okay, Fireheart!" He turned and vanished into the trees.

Fireheart stared down at the ground, his fur hot as Sandstorm gave up hiding her laughter.

"Haha! Minesweeper? What in StarClan's name is that?"

"I have no idea." Fireheart muttered.

_They see me roll on, my Segway!  
I know in my heart they think I'm  
white n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdyCan't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy  
I'd like to roll with-  
The gangsters  
Although it's apparent I'm too  
White n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?  
_

Bluestar sat quietly in her, her mind reflecting. The clan was going strong, although Tigerstar was a threat. She had to make a mental note to double the patrols. Pushing away the remains of the vole she had eaten, she settled down in her moss nest for a nap.

"Hiya, Bluestar!"

Bluestar opened her eyes to see Cloudpaw standing nose-to-nose with her. He had a sticky pink blob in his paw. Bluestar always regarded Cloudpaw as a little strange, but tried to keep her tone polite and happy.

"Cloudpaw, what can I do for-mpph!"

Cloudpaw shoved the blob into his leader's open mouth, grinning widely.

"It's a new brand of bubble gum, enjoy!"

The white apprentice was gone before Bluestar could move. Still wondering about her encounter, she tried to remove the sticky mass.

It wasn't easy. Every time she got it out of her mouth, it would stick to her paw, then her other paw, and so forth. Soon, Bluestar was almost completely covered in bubble gum.

"Maybe we should send him over to Tigerstar. He wouldn't last a day with that cat." Letting out a sigh, she walked out of her den to find a puddle to wash up in.

_I've been browsing, inspectin'  
X-men comics you know I collect 'em  
The pens in my pocket  
I must protect 'em  
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored  
Shopping online for deals on some writable media  
I edit Wikipedia_

__

I memorized Holy Grail really well  
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL  
I got a business doing websites  
When my friends need some code who do they call?  
I do HTML for them allEven made a homepage for my dog!

Yo! Got myself a fanny pack  
they were having a sale down at the GAP  
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap  
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!

Tigerstar, meanwhile, was deep in ShadowClan territory. He was planning how to take over the Clans, again.

"Boulder, go get BloodClan. We'll need their help. Greenstep, go find some country cats and rogues. We'll need to grow our ranks anyway we can."

The two cats he had been talking to bowed their heads and moved away into the forest, leaving Tigerstar alone with his thoughts.

_Once my army is gathered, nothing will stop us! I'll be leader of all this! I'll-_

"Hello, Mister!"

Tigerstar jumped as Cloudpaw jumped out from a bush. The apprentice set some clear Twoleg stuff in front of him. Unsheathing a claw, he popped a bubble with a loud pop.

"It's bubble wrap! Neat, huh?"

Cloudpaw disappeared before Tigerstar could blink. Looking around to see he was alone, he unsheathed a claw and popped the bubble wrap.

Pop!

Grinning hugely, the ShadowClan leader grabbed the bubble wrap and disappeared into the undergrowth, popping it as he went.

_I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme  
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!  
Only question I ever thought was hard  
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?  
I spend every weekend  
at the renaissance fair  
I got my name on my underwear!  
_

Cloudpaw sat with his back against Sunning Rocks. His eyes were closed as he though about his day. Light paw steps caused him to open his eyes. There was Brightpaw, watching the sunset with him.

"Come to rub something in my face?" He snarled. The she-cat smiled and shook her head. To Cloudpaw's surprise, she pulled out a pair of Game Boys and gave him one, keeping a pink one for herself.

"You play Donkey Kong?" Cloudpaw said, amazed. Brightpaw nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah, I've got my name on the world high score list."

"You want to go head-to-head?" Cloudpaw said hopefully.

"You know it."

_They see me strollin'  
They laughin'  
And rollin' their eyes 'cause  
I'm so white n' nerdy  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy  
All because I'm white n' nerdy  
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy  
I wanna bowl with-  
the gangsters  
but oh well it's obvious I'm  
white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
_

**A.N.: There you go! This was a ton of fun to write. Please review! No flames!**


End file.
